EAST TEXAS HOG DOGGERS FORUM

I was looking for a staple gun for the dogs and stumbled on this ;D honest!!!


                          SCROTUM SELF-REPAIR
                        by William A. Morton, Jr. MD
        taken from:  Medical Aspects of Human Sexuality   July 1991

        One morning I was called to the emergency room by the head ER nurse.
She directed me to a patient who had refused to describe his problem other than
to say that he "needed a doctor who took care of men's troubles."  The patient,
about 40, was pale, febrile, and obviously uncomfortable, and had little to say
as he gingerly opened his trousers to expose a bit of angry red and
black-and-blue scrotal skin.
        After I asked the nurse to leave us, the patient permitted me to remove
his trousers, shorts, and two or three yards of foul-smelling stained gauze
wrapped about his scrotumm which was swollen to twice the size of a grapefruit
and extremely tender.  A jagged zig-zag laceration, oozing pus and blood,
extended down the left scrotum.
        Amid the matted hair, edematous skin, and various exudates, I saw some
half buried dark linear objects and asked the patient what they were.  Several
days earlier, he replied, he had injured humself in the machine shop where he
worked, and had closed the laceration himself with a heavy-duty stapling gun.
The dark objects were one-inch staples of the type used in putting up
wallboard.
        We x-rayed the patient's scrotum to locate the staples, admitted him to
the hospital, and gave him tetanus antitoxin, broad-spectrum antibacterial
therapy, and hexachlorine sitz baths prior to surgery the next morning.  The
procedure consisted of exploration and debridement of the left side of the
scrotal pouch.  Eight rusty staples were retrieved, and the skin edges were
trimmed and freshened.  The left testis had been avulsed and was missing.  The
stump of the spermatic cord was recovered at the inguinal canal, debrided, and
the vessels ligated properly, though not much of a hematoma was present.
Through-and-through Penrose drains were sutured loosely in site, and the skin
was loosely closed.
        Convalescence was uneventful, and before his release from the hospital
less than a week later, the patient confided the rest of his story to me.  An
unmarried loner, he usually didn't leave the machine shop at lunchtime with his
co-workers.  Finding himself alone, he had begun the regular practice of
masturbating by holding his penis against the canvas drive belt of a large
floor-based peice of running machinery.  One day, as he approached orgasm, he
lost his concentration and leaned too close to the belt.  When his scrotum
suddenly became caught between the pulley-wheel and the drive belt, he was
thrown into the air and landed a few feet away.  Unaware that he had lost his
left testis, and perhaps too stunned to feel much pain, he stapled the wound
closed and resumed work.  I can only assume he abandoned this method of
self-gratification.

That's one tuff guy!!! How would you not know ya lost one????

I think he was really a dog shooter and a dog owner caught him in the woods!

When I was going through some treatment at the VA hospital I needed a cast removed and person was on break. I joked with my rehab person that all I needed was my pocket knife to get it off. Then I said that I shouldn't joke like that because they would think I was serious. She said that they had a guy come in that had fallen off a ladder or something and broken his leg. He set it and made a cast out of concrete. The doctors were trying to figure out how to get it off without breaking his leg.  They had gently chisel it of. When concrete sets it gets hot. He had second and third degree Burns on his leg. But he had fever and other symptoms that did not make sense so they examined his body. They found that he had cut himself and stitched it himself with copper wire and the oxidation was poisoning him and causing toxic shock. I just wonder how much he slept in training.

i have done some self stitching using super glue and shop rags. copper wire,, that guy was tough!!

couldnt spread my legs far enogh apart while reading this!!ouch !!!

:o HOLY CHIT!!!!!! :o

My stomach turned and legs clinched together in the last paragraph...........

While on the topic........True story from Lake Charles Memorial Hospital in 1989, I was there conducting my clinicals while in the process of completeing my paramedic training. I was working full time for the local ambulance service, so the ER staff was very familiar w/ me, and my capabilities. On a very busy Sunday afternoon, I has just finished starting and IV and was documenting my case on my clinical sheet when the charge nurse asked me to go to triage. A patient walked in and needed triage, but everyone was busy and the elderly male refused to tell the clerk what was wrong, he would only speak to a male attendant.

I arrived at the admit desk to see a man in his late 60's that was extremely pale, sweating, and in obvious distress. I immediately got a wheelchair and asked him to get in. When he stood, his trousers were dripping blood from his crotch. I wheel him in a room and remove his pants to find a small towel completely soaked in blood. Upon exam, his penis was "degloved" of skin. The story he told me, as he cried like a baby was that his buddy told him that the hose of a vacumn cleaner was as good as a woman. As he became excited, he filled the sides of the hose, then the pain of the constant suction became too much. Without thinking and in a panic, he ripped the hose off of he penis, pulling the skin of the shaft with him.

I was composed and attentive throughout his care..........until my good friend Dr. Pittman came in to begin his work! You see, as Dr. Pittman forcefully pierced his penis with a 21ga needle to inject a Lidocaine solution, he made the man promise to keep from getting an erection for 6 weeks. He was still crying when we discharged him to follow up with a urologist! I will never forget that case as long as I live and everytime I hear a vacumn cleaner going I bust out laughing!!!!

Thats a hell of a vacum cleaner!!! Its never done that to me. :P :D

lmao @ sgt. davis
"never done that to me" ;D ;D you sooo crazy ;D

Maybe I spoke to soon. :o I thought everyone had tried that.

THAT IS A LIE................I was not masturbat :'(ing

I never have... I was cleaning it one time and it went off though.