Had a good friend in high school was smoking dope and drinking crown royal eat dang near a pound of deer corn believing it to be corn-nuts.
Same friend: again blazed; I made him a white Russian with milk of magnesia and vodka. Festive occasion.
Same friend: again blitzed; has horrible fear of portopotties, snuck small amounts of ex lax liquid to him throughout a whole day at the renaissance festival while he was also eating turkey legs that people had left unnatended. = him crapping behind the jousting area, but mostly in his pants.
Another friend; first mouthful of Levi garret loose leaf tobacco in another friends moms brand new suv= a late night stop off at the car wash vacuum stall and lots of old spice cologne in the carpet.
Same friend; we were coming home when we shouldn't have been from a place we shouldn't have been when he puked in a whataburger to go box and left it under my passenger seat all weekend at the grip river in August.
Same friend; tried to talk a south padre beach cop into tasering him and when the cop refused he rode way unsuccessfully on the cops bicycle. He then got his original wish and peed in his pants but laughed and said " it's ok! These are swimming trunks" in that stupid way that only a drunk can.
Me; once shotgunned 3 hot lonestar beers after loosing beer pong then immidieatly spewed them back onto the beer pong table then declared myself the beer pong champion becuase no one else wanted to play me!
Not me, but a guy I know. Lost eyelashes, eyebrows, front half of hair and any chance with a redheaded girl at garner state park by trying to breath fire with a lighter and some everclear
