Abuse

I was in an abusive marriage, and unfortunately I always believed him when he "was sorry, it wouldn't happen again." I wanted to believe him, I stayed, and it kept happening. I got to the point where I thought I deserved it, and if I was this bad of a person who else would want me. How was it my fault he lost at that video game?? Or got pulled over?? Or spilled a drink on the floor?? Friends would tell mentions some "things" he was doing behind my back, when I would ask about it, it either ended in him lying to me or abuse, how dare I say ask him those things. Well, long story short, I caught him with a woman and he proceeded to hurt me and stick a shotgun in my face. That was the end of it. Yes, I know it was stupid to stick around through all the pain, physical emotional and mental. I tried to get a restraining order against him but there wasn't enough "evidence". If the cops couldn't help me, who could?? I felt stuck and alone. I was so scared to leave. If you can help someone in this situation please do it, offer them shelter or anything. I know it's personal, not many people want to get involved in this kind of thing. I never thought for one second I would be weak enough to let this happen to me. I don't have children, I cant imagine what that would be like to suffer through this with them. Fortunately I was able to FINALLY overcome my fear and do what I should have done years before, and left, before it literally killed me. If you can help someone save years of their life, or even their life in general, please offer some kind of support. You have no idea how much that will mean to them, that they aren't the piece of crap they have been made to believe they are, and that someone does actually care for them, and they are worth fighting for.