Abuse

Many of the relationships Ive been in, Ive realized later that my subconscious picked them and that I wasnt really doing the picking. If you are a healthy human being in mind, emotion and spirit and you are in an abusive relationship and someone isnt treating you right, YOU GET OUT! if you are staying with someone thats abusive to you and your children then you are need help because you arent making sound decisions. I was with a woman who had two kids for a while, about four years, her son was one when we got together, her daughter was 5. Man I loved those kids, so much that I feared If we ever had our own child that I might not love it as much, for that period of time I raised those kids as my own and treated that woman like gold. After a couple years I realized she was not a faithfull woman and that she could lie to your face like it was the truth and that maybe she didnt have a conscious or care about who she hurt as long as she could do whatever she wanted, I tried to work it out with her more than a few times, mostly because I loved those kids so much. I always used to call her a deuchebag in my mind, and it took me a few years to realize that I was the duechbag and that anytime you are letting another person get away with not treating you right you are the one at fault and that you are being duechey to yourself and that when you blame it on the other person you are dissempowering yourself in the worst way. When you put the blame on yourself then you can do something about it, you can say No! Or Im outa here! you can make a choice to end it, to remove yourself from that unhealthy situation, because its your responsibility to set your boundaries, not his. When you blame the other person you are stuck waiting and hoping for them to change, and guess what...... they arent going to..... or else they already would have. they are too mentally and spiritually ill and lack the emotional intelligence to see the harm they are causing and choose a better way. I wont say its because they dont love you, they just dont know how to manage a healthy relationship and probably dont desire one. They are most likely driven by their subconscious and the abuse they have suffered and are stuck "acting out" in their own life the same scenarios that caused them to be that way in the first place. and possibly anyone who would choose to stay with a person who would treat them poorly is doing the same, they are trying to replay scenarios in their past and heal wounds caused by abusive relationships from the past, usually a father or a mother. And like a broken record the cycle of abuse goes on. I dont know how much of this is helpful, I do know that I speak from experience and that I have been in many relationships like this before I realized what I was doing and started making different choices, the hard choices.... like leaving someone you are still in love with because they dont treat you right and dont know how. That woman I was with tried to get back together with me for 5 years, we did get back together a couple times but she just couldnt be faithful, her dad was the same way. Men are dime a dozen theres always a better prospect out there and youre going to cull quite few before you find a keeper, the woman who the original post is about needs to treat em like a hog dog, you all know how we cull around here!!! You cant put up with no bs when picking your mate, life is too short and those kids are getting imprinted with That number 2e. My advice is read some books on personal boundary function, and your life will get a lot better. I have plenty more to say on this subject but I try to keep them short (: