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sfboarbuster
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« on: June 13, 2012, 02:07:01 pm » |
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Lawyers should never ask a Southern grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.
In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."
The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defence attorney?" She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him."
The defense attorney almost died. The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you to the electric chair."
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John Esker
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Lbrown
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« Reply #2 on: June 13, 2012, 02:35:17 pm » |
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Nice. Haha
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Thrill of the squill
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RyanTBH
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« Reply #3 on: June 13, 2012, 02:40:23 pm » |
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Needed that! Good stuff!  |
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Do work, make chit happen, and never stop moving forward.
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jimco
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« Reply #4 on: June 13, 2012, 02:41:23 pm » |
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That's some funny chit right there
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"Pedigree indicates what the animal should be. Conformation indicates what the animal appears to be. But PERFORMANCE indicates what the animal actually is."
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justincorbell
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« Reply #5 on: June 13, 2012, 02:48:57 pm » |
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Hahahaha......i needed that! Gracias
"the sun is shining somewhere in texas" -Jason Boland
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"stupids in the water these days, they're gonna drink it anyway." - Chris Knight
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H.Wilson
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« Reply #6 on: June 13, 2012, 02:50:07 pm » |
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Sounds like grandmas always speaking her mind
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It might be lonely at the top but it's a bitch on the bottom
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txdogos
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« Reply #7 on: June 13, 2012, 03:18:23 pm » |
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haha
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txdogos / texas dogos
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WayOutWest
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« Reply #8 on: June 13, 2012, 05:57:04 pm » |
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Nice change from the bickering boys!
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Noah
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« Reply #9 on: June 13, 2012, 07:00:41 pm » |
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Hahaha, good one |
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Welcome to the Gun Show
Noah Metzger 352 316 8005
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