Family member with drug problem ?

[Georgia-Hawgs]

This is probably the wrong place to ask but has anyone else ever dealt with this? My little brother (21) is doing dope so bad he thinks people are following him around in his car and placing tracking devices on or in his belongings. I just dont know what to do. I've tried everything from a prayer , all the way down to jumping on him (which i shouldnt have done)a few weeks ago when he was at mamas punching holes in walls and kicking dents in his own car swearing up and down that we all had the law spying on him. He has turned into a whole different person in a years time. We use to sit around a bonfire and drink a cold beer all the time. Now the only time we see him is when he needs a place to sleep for literally 2 days at a time. He's got the whole family tore up. Mama calls me crying all the time. And i worry myself sick about him. Has anyone else ever dealt with anything like this? Did you do anything that helped or should i just keep my fingers crossed that nothing bad happens to him and just ride it out. Thank yall for any advice !

[hogmantx1979]

usually you have to bury them or see them off to prison or both like I did with my little brother which was my  only sibling on april 11 2010   good luck with yours and hope it doesn't come down to that I will put a prayer in for you all

[charles]

Yep, my pops was like this a couple hrs ago. Between agent orange exposure, flashbacks and his meds not working, he went a lil crazy. It dang near put him in the hospital and that's what it took for him to get his chit back together. I wasn't that way with drugs, but alcohol got me bad after my divorce and for 5-6yrs, if I wasn't in Iraq, I had a case a beer readily available. It almost cost me my military career and would have if I hadnt pulled my head outa my ass and straitened up on my own. There were times I would eat a handful of codeine, some diladid, a lil morphine and a few beer and off to see the wizard I would go. It was bad, and shoulda killed me, but didn't. I do agree with hogman though, it may take prison or a pine box to get him strait, or it could take a a strong willed person to set him back on the the right road, granted a foot to the a$$ and skull may be required or a come to Jesus meeting may be in order too.

[Reuben]

I wish I knew how to help you...maybe you  can get some advice from a family therapist that specializes in drug addiction...

[dallas22]

This is probably the wrong place to ask but has anyone else ever dealt with this? My little brother (21) is doing dope so bad he thinks people are following him around in his car and placing tracking devices on or in his belongings. I just dont know what to do. I've tried everything from a prayer , all the way down to jumping on him (which i shouldnt have done)a few weeks ago when he was at mamas punching holes in walls and kicking dents in his own car swearing up and down that we all had the law spying on him. He has turned into a whole different person in a years time. We use to sit around a bonfire and drink a cold beer all the time. Now the only time we see him is when he needs a place to sleep for literally 2 days at a time. He's got the whole family tore up. Mama calls me crying all the time. And i worry myself sick about him. Has anyone else ever dealt with anything like this? Did you do anything that helped or should i just keep my fingers crossed that nothing bad happens to him and just ride it out. Thank yall for any advice !

I had the same problem but i just kept away i figured i have little ones as long as they are safe and those family members dont  come around its all good . I belive if people gonna change they have to change them selfs. Ive found out that if you try to help them they will more likely blow smoke up your a## or they will find jesus and use that as front. They might just come around and act all good then rob you. Then your stuck wondering why they would do that to you. You always love them but if your like me my kids come first.

[Georgia-Hawgs]

usually you have to bury them or see them off to prison or both like I did with my little brother which was my  only sibling on april 11 2010   good luck with yours and hope it doesn't come down to that I will put a prayer in for you all

man that just sent chills down my back. I sure am sorry that happened to you and your family. I hope he gets it together. He is absolutely not this kind of person. He knows better. Our dad was in and out of the chain gang all our lives. And im not innocent myself. I've done a little crap when i was a teenager but thank God i was rudely awakened before i got to far gone.

[Georgia-Hawgs]

This is probably the wrong place to ask but has anyone else ever dealt with this? My little brother (21) is doing dope so bad he thinks people are following him around in his car and placing tracking devices on or in his belongings. I just dont know what to do. I've tried everything from a prayer , all the way down to jumping on him (which i shouldnt have done)a few weeks ago when he was at mamas punching holes in walls and kicking dents in his own car swearing up and down that we all had the law spying on him. He has turned into a whole different person in a years time. We use to sit around a bonfire and drink a cold beer all the time. Now the only time we see him is when he needs a place to sleep for literally 2 days at a time. He's got the whole family tore up. Mama calls me crying all the time. And i worry myself sick about him. Has anyone else ever dealt with anything like this? Did you do anything that helped or should i just keep my fingers crossed that nothing bad happens to him and just ride it out. Thank yall for any advice !

yeah he's done started the stealing. I just had a call from his ex-girlfriend that i set him up with asking if i knew where he was. He took her lock box with almost 1000 dollars in it. And she called the police on him. I know theres a few sherrifs deputies or police officers on here. What might happen to him if this is his first offense but he stole that money and gets convicted of it. ? Thank yall for all the replies. This is really getting to me. And hell all my folks are just as bothered as me so i wont call them and talk about it. Figured i'd seek some outside advice .



I had the same problem but i just kept away i figured i have little ones as long as they are safe and those family members dont  come around its all good . I belive if people gonna change they have to change them selfs. Ive found out that if you try to help them they will more likely blow smoke up your a## or they will find jesus and use that as front. They might just come around and act all good then rob you. Then your stuck wondering why they would do that to you. You always love them but if your like me my kids come first.

[Curcross1987]

Do not give him money tell every one not to give him any if he needs gas take him to get it if he needs food take him to get it no cash at all

[NathanDoss]

Prayers ! Just be there for him when he hits rock bottom. You can't help someone that doesn't want help. That has been my experience.

[Hog Dog Mike]

My nephew has a serious drug problem. I wish I could tell you that he is well now and everything is great. It is not. He got started in high school nearly 40 years ago and has not made any progress yet. Patrick is in prison now and I really don't know how many times he has been in the pen but it is several. When he gets out he will be right back in the same situation. I have expected a call telling me he over dosed or somebody killed him in some kind of drug related situation.

I don't think he ever realized that he needs to go to a treatment center and make up his mind that he must quit drugs. His record is so bad now that nobody will hire him so he will never be able to hole any kind of decent job. That is nobody's fault but his own.

I don't know what the answer is but if you find out please post it.

[Georgia-Hawgs]

He thinks im the enemy when he's on this crap. I had a feeling something was going to happen tonight. He has now called the law saying that 4 cars went down the road and didnt come back out and they were waiting on him. He told the dispatcher he was outside with the rifle And if they pulled in he was going to fire on them. Well i called and told mama to tell him not to have that rifle when the law showed up. Might have some trigger happy deputy just itching to shoot. Well the 4 cars that went down the tiny road they live on turns out to be an 18 wheeler. It took him all that time to turn around because the road turns into dirt. He thought all the lights on the truck was 4 different vehicles. As bad as i hate to say it i kind of hope the deputy takes him with him when he leaves. I think he's safer in jail than he is around his idiot friends. If i knew where he was getting it i promise you i'd personally pay them a visit.

[YELLOWBLACKMASK]

Wherever there is smoke ....fire is usually just around the corner.

Hate to say it, but it will probably get worse. Alot worse!
The mental and physical abuse towards close family members...probably the parents will begin shortly if the addiction is not continuously fed without interruption.

Typical things that are almost always present.

An enabler. (Usually a sweet lady that cares deeply for them) and CANNOT say NO!
Environment.  The rut they were originally sucked into and cannot or do not want to steer out of.
Triggers.   Can be things,  people, places.  Have to be identified and eliminated.

And the biggest..........ROCK BOTTOM.  Most have to hit it! And be allowed to hit it by others.
Because in the end.....Cannot fix someone that has no interest in being fixed. They have to be done with it physically and mentally.

Best of luck to you............But DO NOT let someone .....even a desperately loved one........ruin you or your own families lives trying to fix someone else's life that started with a personal choice to engage in that lifestyle.

[MrsLouisianaHogDog]

I've dealt with a close family member, three actually, with addictions. It took me years to come to terms with the fact that
I was allowing their addiction and self destructive behavior to absolutely destroy my life as well. If they reuse to listen, sometimes you have to make the hard decision to cut them off. Sounds harsh, but, it gets to a point where they will drag you down with them. My opinion is based on my personal experiences.

[Shotgun wg]

A person on meth is not the person u know. It's some bad stuff. Rock bottom is the only thing I have seen fix it other than the grave. I have seen folks lose everything. I have seen folks live in the street and do anything for it. I have seen them steal from family. Usually before they will steal from a stranger. Ur only possible chance is get him to an area he knows no one. A place he can be supervised 24/7 . A place he can work but not in public or where anyone that may have their own addictions. If u can get him clean and out of it he may stay that way as long as he can't contact his old friends. Addiction is probly one of the hardest things a family member can deal with. Because regardless of how much u want to help if they don't want the help it don't matter.

Good luck to you and be careful. U may think he won't hurt u or ur family but an addict will do whatever it takes for the next bump. 


Shotgun
Arkansas

[Georgia-Hawgs]

Thanks shotgun. Im not affraid to admit it. But i was a dope head myself when i was 18-19 years old. Im 27 now and havent touched a thing except a cold miller lite since i was that age. The power of a good WOMAN is one of the most incredible things ive ever witnessed. I tell my wife all the time that she very well possibly saved my life. But if anybody on here knows the legal system what may happen to him if he gets convicted of stealing almost 1000 dollars. His ex girlfriend (that i set him up with when he was clean) called me asking where he was. She said he had stole almost 1000 bucks from her and she called the police.  He has no criminal record at all.

[c dunn]

He may get a few months if that. Then he'll get probation. The only way he'll get delivered from meth is Jesus. I see people get off it by themselves but they always go back unless they give it to Jesus. Meth is a totally different deal. People say it will kill you but I think it just makes you live a loong miserable life. I see people everyday that are in thier 60's that have been using for years.

[Hog Dog Mike]

Wherever there is smoke ....fire is usually just around the corner.

Hate to say it, but it will probably get worse. Alot worse!
The mental and physical abuse towards close family members...probably the parents will begin shortly if the addiction is not continuously fed without interruption.

Typical things that are almost always present.

An enabler. (Usually a sweet lady that cares deeply for them) and CANNOT say NO!
Environment.  The rut they were originally sucked into and cannot or do not want to steer out of.
Triggers.   Can be things,  people, places.  Have to be identified and eliminated.

And the biggest..........ROCK BOTTOM.  Most have to hit it! And be allowed to hit it by others.
Because in the end.....Cannot fix someone that has no interest in being fixed. They have to be done with it physically and mentally.

Best of luck to you............But DO NOT let someone .....even a desperately loved one........ruin you or your own families lives trying to fix someone else's life that started with a personal choice to engage in that lifestyle.

You hit it right on the head with the enabler. It is his mom. I know she loves him but the things he is doing, has done, and will continue to do is his fault and nobody else's. She was always ready to blame somebody else for all his problems. One time she even accused Rick Perry because the law was just picking on her son. No, they were arresting  a criminal that needed to go back to the pen.

She might be done with him this time. He got on parole by telling his parole officer he would live with his mom. That was not true. He wanted money and she gave him a 20 and he slapped her down. She is over 80 years old and she had him picked up and sent back to prison. As far as I am concerned he can stay there for the rest of his life. I am very concerned that he will hurt somebody that is innocent.

[kerreydw]

My brother is all the above he's done it all abused his family lost a fortune he could be a rich man but he would rather spend his time jacking around with this sort of stuff I don't bother with him there is nothing you can do to help a person with this problem they think in there mind nothing they do is wrong. My mother has spent a small fortune helping him. It doesn't help though he's rite back in the crap,I still love him but I'm done with the drama

[Hog Dog Mike]

The druggie did not have a place to live so my other nephew let him move in with him and his son. What does druggie do---he steals the son's bicycle and hocks it for 32.00 to buy drugs. When my other nephew confronted him he threatened him and attempted to assault him. Druggie is a big strong ole boy and could hurt you bad. I had told my other nephew that he was crazy and not to let him hurt him or his boy. So he got a shotgun and butt stroked Druggie cracking his skull. The son had called the law so Druggie runs and gets apprehended within a couple of blocks. Check this out--he is out of prison on an assault charge, sitting in the back of a squad car, hand cuffed, telling his cousin he is going to kill him when he gets out of the pen. He goes back to prison on that deal.

I am not sure what kind of drugs he is on but it makes him see things that are not there. One time he got to imagining that drug dealers were coming to kill him. He got his mothers pistol and shot 6 times through the front door.

The very best thing that could happen to him and society is that he spend the rest of his life in prison.

[Bdog09]

Thoughts and prayers to all! If that was my brother I'd beat him with in an inch of his life and lock him up and dry him out.