Abuse

[T.R.]

I had a step dad in my child hood that was pretty ruff on me and my momma he was whoopin on her when i was a young teenager and id finally had all i could take and stood up to that prick and ended up beat the crap out of him and we got the heck out there and she finally found a man that treats her like a queen like any man would treat his wife. Lady just like alot these folks said get the heck out there dont do that to your kids and thats coming from somebody that was one of those kids. And like alot of theses people have said il sure come help you get outa there im not a rich or tuff man but i bet i can get you outa there and in a safe place and help you get back on your feet.

[Fixitlouie]

Years ago as a joke I gave my first wife a hicky on her eye lid. We wouldn't you know it there was a death in the family and I left my duty station to go to the funeral.  I didnt think anything of it cuz im a prankster.  Well when I walked in my grandmother house in Conroe my dad took one look at her then looked at me with a face of pure hate. Ive never seen a Mexican move so fast after me. I did the natural thing and RAN!! The hole time I was yelling "its a hicky....I was joking"...my mom and dad started laughing.  One of there friends in high school did the same thing. Its where I got the idea. I was rased not to bully any body. Man, woman or child. Sad truth is it will ALWAYS be there. Moreover man get the majority of it from the women in there lives. Its hard to leave when you're dependent or kids involved share stuff together. ..

[liefalwepon]

Many of the relationships Ive been in, Ive realized later that my subconscious picked them and that I wasnt really doing the picking. If you are a healthy human being in mind, emotion and spirit and you are in an abusive relationship and someone isnt treating you right, YOU GET OUT! if you are staying with someone thats abusive to you and your children then you are need help because you arent making sound decisions. I was with a woman who had two kids for a while, about four years, her son was one when we got together, her daughter was 5. Man I loved those kids, so much that I feared If we ever had our own child that I might not love it as much, for that period of time I raised those kids as my own and treated that woman like gold. After a couple years I realized she was not a faithfull woman and that she could lie to your face like it was the truth and that maybe she didnt have a conscious or care about who she hurt as long as she could do whatever she wanted, I tried to work it out with her more than a few times, mostly because I loved those kids so much. I always used to call her a deuchebag in my mind, and it took me a few years to realize that I was the duechbag and that anytime you are letting another person get away with not treating you right you are the one at fault and that you are being duechey to yourself and that when you blame it on the other person you are dissempowering yourself in the worst way. When you put the blame on yourself then you can do something about it, you can say No! Or Im outa here! you can make a choice to end it, to remove yourself from that unhealthy situation, because its your responsibility to set your boundaries, not his. When you blame the other person you are stuck waiting and hoping for them to change, and guess what...... they arent going to..... or else they already would have. they are too mentally and spiritually ill and lack the emotional intelligence to see the harm they are causing and choose a better way. I wont say its because they dont love you, they just dont know how to manage a healthy relationship and probably dont desire one. They are most likely driven by their subconscious and the abuse they have suffered and are stuck "acting out" in their own life the same scenarios that caused them to be that way in the first place. and possibly anyone who would choose to stay with a person who would treat them poorly is doing the same, they are trying to replay scenarios in their past and heal wounds caused by abusive relationships from the past, usually a father or a mother. And like a broken record the cycle of abuse goes on. I dont know how much of this is helpful, I do know that I speak from experience and that I have been in many relationships like this before I realized what I was doing and started making different choices, the hard choices.... like leaving someone you are still in love with because they dont treat you right and dont know how. That woman I was with tried to get back together with me for 5 years, we did get back together a couple times but she just couldnt be faithful, her dad was the same way. Men are dime a dozen theres always a better prospect out there and youre going to cull quite few before you find a keeper, the woman who the original post is about needs to treat em like a hog dog, you all know how we cull around here!!! You cant put up with no bs when picking your mate, life is too short and those kids are getting imprinted with That number 2e. My advice is read some books on personal boundary function, and your life will get a lot better. I have plenty more to say on this subject but I try to keep them short (:

[Reuben]

That is great advice...

[MsHogDogger]

First of all, thank you everyone! My kids and I left Monday with very little in our car and in our pockets. We are in a hotel and tonight is the last night that I can afford. I am not sure what tomorrow will bring. Please keep us in your prayers.

[Georgia-Hawgs]

Well you did the right thing, i don't know details as its none of my business,  but maybe you should consider not being in contact with the ex. Do you not have any family you could stay with? Or ask for help?

[MsHogDogger]

You would think that family would help but only if you knew my family, you would understand. An example, my oldest brother past away last Oct, my other siblings didn't want to give him any type of services. My parents who live on a very fixed income had to beg for a memorial services for him. We don't get together for any holidays. It is very sad!

[Georgia-Hawgs]

Sorry to hear that , are you in texas? I know here in Ga, there are lots of places that offer help to family's in need,

[WayOutWest]

Not sure where you are at but I am sure there is a support shelter in the nearest city to take you in and get you started again. Please do what it takes to get your kids out of this. There are people who will help.

[MsHogDogger]

The only shelter here closed down a year ago. My kids still have school the next two weeks so I am trying to stay close until they finish the year. We are in a cheap hotel and if we can figure it out until Friday then we will be ok.

[WayOutWest]

Good luck to you, hope you can hang in there!

[CRC]

Where are you at? I'm not rich but I would be willing to pay for a night at that hotel for you and your kids to be safe. Nothing gets under my skin more then a piece of trash that is abusive to his wife and children. Whatever you have to do don't go back because of financial issues.

[Georgia-Hawgs]

X2 I'd be willing to pay for another night, if i could pay it straight to the hotel .

[MsHogDogger]

Thank you. I have no problem giving my info and the hotels in a private message.

[l.h.cracker]

What state are you in MsHogdogger?

[MsHogDogger]

Texas

[l.h.cracker]

Sorry for your struggles but you're doing the right thing. I am in Florida a bit far for any help but I wish you the best of luck and stay strong for your children and yourself.

[charles]

Is there a la quinta inn near you? If so, ill donate a couple nights for yaw from my rewards points.